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Transformation occurs when your internal story about an occurrence, person, place or thing is blown out of the water every time it surfaces. Stand in possibility, deal with the facts and create newly.
We complain. We judge. We evaluate. It’s a normal function of being human even if it is unproductive. We complain that things shouldn’t be a certain way, a person shouldn’t be the way they are, life should be different. Even though our complaints seem justified, even legitimate, there is a certain payoff we get that reinforces the behavior. But, every payoff comes with a cost. And, in the case of complaints it’s personal affinity, aliveness, fulfillment and expression free from concern.
We love patterns. We do the same routine every morning before going to work. We drive the same route. Eat mostly at the same places for lunch. When we grocery shop we tend to walk the same aisle in the same order week in and week out. We have patterns and routines when on the computer. The list goes on and on. Oh, and we complain about the same stuff over and over and over.
Things happen in life. There are the facts about what happened and there is the story you tell yourself about what happened.
Life appears to be a certain fixed way. To change something we attempt to alter circumstances, situations, people, ourselves. Change merely attempts to alter what already exists, the way something appears to us. Change is linked unavoidably to the past as we compare what we want to change to what was. Change provides a more, better or different version of the preceding.
When you are in a conversation with someone are you just waiting your turn to talk? Are you really listening to what is being said or are you merely judging and evaluating? The way we listen to others can determine the amount of valuable and insightful information we gain from another.
For the most part we think of ourselves as open minded and objective beings, willing to take in new information without prejudice, without pre-judging. But the truth is we, as human beings, filter everything, cycle it though our way of thinking and come to some sort of a conclusion about ourselves, our circumstances, our past experiences and others. These filters are mostly hidden from our view.
Context influences meaning. Transformation can occur like a paradigm shift.
For instance, on one day a mother comes home from work to a messy house. She screams at the kids, tears around the place proclaiming, “You have no consideration, I have to do all the work around here. Now get into your rooms a clean them… and don’t come out until they are clean!”
As mentioned before, we humans are more like machines in our mental make-up than not. Your reactions and responses to certain stimuli are usually the same, unless you consciously intervene. In order to transform anything in your life it is essential to begin to notice your reactions and responses to events BEFORE responding.
We humans are machines. We respond almost identically in most situations. We even talk about having our buttons pushed when we react to someone. Very machine like. 
Transformation is not change. Change takes the parts and pieces you have already and simply rearranges them. If you tear a piece of paper in half you have merely changed its appearance. A transformation might happen if you lit the paper on fire. Its essence has then been transformed. It is no longer paper. 
Motivation gets people fired up, raring to go, eager to act… for a little while until the motivation wears off… and it does wear off. It is the reason Zig Ziglar said: “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.” With motivation there is no underlying shift in who one is being. You merely attempt to excite the old.
